No Mommy or Daddy Needed

We've had a solid routine on naps and bedtime for a while now. We read a book (it used to be two, but since the stories have gotten longer we've had to cut it down to one in order to keep story time to fifteen minutes or so). We sing 2-3 short songs. We go through a whole routine of hugs and kisses (big hug followed by small hug followed by big kiss followed by...) There have been minor adjustments along the way, but Fiona has been going down at bedtime like a champ since she was four months old, and once she cut down to one nap a day she pretty much fell right asleep at naptime after we did the routine as well.

Around the time she turned three, that midday nap started dropping away. Sometimes that's been nice--when her nap went from 1-3, we pretty much couldn't do anything that started between noon and four in the afternoon, which can really limit your options. Sometimes that's been frustrating--like any time her parents could use a little toddler-free time in the middle of the day.

The nap hasn't totally dropped away. There are still some days where she takes it, especially if she hasn't had a nap in a few days. And we instituted "quiet time" as a compromise. We put Fiona down for her nap after lunch, but we call it "quiet time," and remind Fiona that she can sleep or read or play quietly, but that Mommy and Daddy aren't going to come in to keep her company even if she cries. That's worked pretty well. Some days she plays for 15 minutes and then climbs into bed and falls asleep. Some days she plays for an hour and then we open the door and agree that quiet time is over. But we've always done the nap routine with the books and songs and hugs before quiet time starts. It helps everybody wind down for a rest.

Yesterday we were trying to get Fiona into her room for quiet time, and trying to get her to decide whether she wanted Mommy or Daddy to do the routine. Fiona was resisting everything (as toddlers do), and finally she said "nobody."

"You don't want anybody to do naptime?" I asked.

"No. Nobody."

"No books, no songs, no hugs?"

"I do naptime myself," she replied.

I considered this for a moment. "You're going to read your own story and do your own song?"

"Yes," she replied.

"And put yourself into bed?"

"Yes."

I had to admit, she had me intrigued. "All right," I said. "But it's still going to be quiet time, so Mommy and Daddy aren't going to come in if you cry."

Fiona nodded. I gave her her hugs and kisses and left the room.

I waited by her door for a few moments, expecting that she was going to start crying out at any moment that she really did want Mommy or Daddy to do stories. But instead I heard her rustling around and then I distinctly heard her telling... well, I assume a stuffed animal, but maybe she was just telling herself... telling the story about the kitten who saw the full moon and thought it was a bowl of milk.

A few minutes later I could hear some singing.

And then... nothing. Quiet.

My curiosity got the better of me. I peeked through the keyhole (thank God three-year-olds down have privacy to invade). Fiona was lying down in her bed.

I can't guarantee that she went to sleep (my keyhole view isn't that good). And it didn't wind up being a very long nap -- she wound up getting up and making noise and we opened the door about 75 minutes after leaving her alone. But she did do something.

That night she briefly toyed with the idea of doing her own bedtime, until we pointed out that it was dark outside and she isn't yet able to turn the light off herself, so she'd either get no story or would be trying to sleep with the light on. And, frankly, we're not ready to give up that evening cuddle over Dr. Seuss just yet. But we've seen a little bit of the future nevertheless.