Pondering the Mysteries of the Universe

Sometime after I was asked why she had to take a bath but before the moment I was asked why people walk on their feet it hit me: we've entered the "why" phase parents have been warning us about for years.

Even so, I still didn't feel prepared for some of the following questions:

1) During bedtime, I sing "Down to the River to Pray" to Fiona (that's a song from the O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack. Fiona has three regular lullabies, and one comes from a Coen Brothers movie and another is a Tom Waits song from his adaptation of Wozzeck. Which means I have a daughter who has learned to like Tom Waits about twenty years before I did). The opening lyrics are "As I went down to the river to pray/studying about that good old way..."

Fiona interrupted to ask:

Fiona: What's the good old way?

Daddy: Well, it's, um... (realizing where this is about to head) the Bible actually.

Fiona: What's the Bible?

Daddy: (wondering how to get in and out of this topic in 30 seconds or less since it is bedtime) It's a book.

Fiona: What's the book about?

Daddy: It's about God.

Fiona: What's God?

Daddy: Well, he's... a...

Fiona: Is He a person?

Daddy: He's a being who watches over everybody all the time.

Fiona: Is he silly?

2) Another night, right before bed, Fiona asks about Buddy. She knows he died, but right as I'm tucking her in she decides it's a good time to ask:

"Where's Buddy now?"

"He's in heaven," I reply.

"Is he happy?"

And I start scrambling through the mental notes I made about how to talk to your child about death, since you're supposed to comfort them but you also want to be wary of talking too much about it being "a better place" since you don't exactly want your child walking around saying "I want to die." Speaking of which...

3) One night at dinner while her mother is conveniently off at a play, Fiona starts asking about her grandparents' parents. Fiona has two more living great-grandparents than I did at her age, but that still means six are gone.

Fiona: They died?

Daddy: Yes they did.

Fiona: Do people die?

Daddy: (Once again seeing where this is going) Every living thing dies eventually.

Fiona: Am I going to die?

Daddy: Not for a long, long time. You have a lot of life left.

Fiona: You're wrong, Daddy. I'm not going to die.

And with that she went back to eating her pasta.

I also want to note, for the record, that Fiona never seems to ask these questions to her mother, or even when her mother is around. So how come I got stuck being the theologian in the household?