Tough Times to be a Kid

Sorry, Fiona.

Your best friend is moving away tomorrow. It's happening for the reasons these things always happen. Her father got a job offer somewhere else. This isn't something you have any control over. It's not something your friend has any control over. You two just get stuck with the consequences.

There are things we tell you to help with the hurt. You'll keep in touch. There's email, there's Skype. Your friend wants you to visit on vacations.

As an adult, I know these things won't happen. There will be a few emails and calls. We won't visit. There's really no reason we'd be in her new area of the country, and we aren't going to make a special trip.

The fact is, friendships at your age are based so much on proximity. The biggest reason you play together is that you live on the same block and are roughly the same age. Once you stop seeing each other every day, you'll grow apart. And, just like with all the other awful parts about being a kid in this situation, whether you want things to be different or not: you don't get any say. It is what it is.

If you were 8-10 years older things might be different -- or they might not -- but at your age you're going to move on more quickly than you can imagine.

But not right away. Right away, this is going to hurt. It hurts for me. I never imagined the two of you still being friends in 8-10 years, but I assumed you'd just grow apart over the years. I didn't expect two weeks notice in mid-January. Some of the hurt is selfish. It's very easy as a parent when there's a girl the same age as yours right across the street. Built-in playdates several times a week. But it also hurts because I remember times that friendships suddenly ended.

It's not enough, but: Sorry, Fiona.