Still Scared

Following up on Monday's post:

Fiona's fascinated by fear. She doesn't seem paralyzed or anything, but she does keep bringing up the airplane. When we hear a car pass by outside she calls it an airplane, often following up to say "airplane scare".

When Andrea was watching Pooh's Heffalump Movie with her yesterday (to call the Heffalump movie Fiona's favorite DVD would be an understatement; I think our TV is going to start playing it automatically soon), Fiona spent the early part of the film watching the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood respond to the possibility of a Heffalump in their midst saying "Pooh scared! Piglet scared!" She wasn't worried for them (she's seen the movie dozens of times by now) so much as pleased to be able to name the emotion.

So far it seems like something she wants to talk about, which we do ("it's okay to be scared and you did very well on the plane"). We're also glad that we don't have any more flights scheduled in the next few months.

I Scared

Fiona's an airplane veteran with six round trip flights in less than two years. But our trip to Tampa over Thanksgiving was different from any previous vacation because for the first time Fiona was scared.

We keep her strapped into her car seat for takeoffs and landings, and we've never had a big problem in the past--usually we could talk to her or sing songs and she barely noticed anything out of the ordinary. But on our flight down to Tampa, she kept asking to be picked up during takeoff (which we couldn't do, obviously), and on the landing she got very scared, started crying, and wound up sucking on her thumb AND rubbing her belly for comfort while I repeatedly sang the Winnie-the-Pooh theme song to her and gave her a hug as best I could without undoing either of our seatbelts.

Any hopes we might have had that Fiona would be less frightened on our return after having made it through the first trip were dashed when she started crying as soon as we strapped her into her car seat.

Fiona also showed a greater fear of the dark than she had when we visited Tampa last June--we wound up having to keep a 25 watt light on all night long while we slept in an unfamiliar space (her normal nightlight at home is about 5-10 watts, I believe).

On the positive side, once each scary experience was over, Fiona didn't show any long-lingering effects. After we landed in Tampa on the flight down, she kept repeating the words "I scared" to describe what had happened on our descent. Mommy explained that it was okay to be scared sometimes, and that she had made it through the experience fine. After being assured that there was nothing wrong with her fears, Fiona then kept excitedly repeating to us "I scared" as we walked out of the airport, apparently pleased to be able to name the emotion.

Who Needs Parents?

We've gotten used to the babysitter farewell. The babysitter arrives, we show her whatever basics we need to go through (diaper location, emergency numbers, bedtime routine, etc.) Fiona plays happily, until the time comes that we kneel down to tell her we're going out for the evening, that we love her, and that we'll see her in the morning. Like any toddler, she starts wailing, we slink out the door, and the babysitter tries to swing into action to distract Fiona from her temporarily absent parents.

Last night we had a new babysitter--Miriam, the current assistant at Fiona's day care. We (Fiona and her parents) were enjoying an early dinner and playing a vigorous game of "let go" when Miriam arrived. Fiona suddenly froze in her high chair with a confused/distressed look on her face. We'd told Fiona earlier that Miriam would be coming to play with her while Mommy and Daddy went to a show and it looked like Fiona was upset because a moment she'd feared had arrived.

Well, whatever fears she might have had quickly disappeared because as soon as we put her down on the ground she ran up to Miriam and grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards her toys. As we showed Miriam around and tried to give her basic instructions, Fiona kept shouting out Miriam's name and trying to pull her back to her toys.

But the really shocking moment for us came ten minutes later when we knelt down to say our goodbyes for the evening. "Bye bye Fiona," we said. "You're going to play with Miriam and we'll see you in the morning."

As I said, this is usually when the eyes well up, the look of betrayal crosses her face, and the full power of our daughter's lungs is put to a demonstration. But this time, Fiona just looked up at us with a smile and said "okay, bye."

We walked out the door with stunned expressions, very happy that Fiona feels secure enough to know her parents will return, and very happy that Fiona likes her day care providers so much that she'll happy play with them in lieu of her parents.

(Oh, and Aunt Kathy: obviously the bar has been raised for your next babysitting visit!)

Boo Scary Heater

Ever since Halloween Fiona has loved to play "boo! eek!" (she says "boo" and we say "eek"). Lately she's added the word "scary" to her repertoire; she likes to put a blanket or scarf over her shoulders and wave it back and forth as she walks through the apartment saying "boo boo scary, boo boo scary, boo boo scary."

It turns out, though, that we do have something at home that genuinely does scare her, which is the space heater we keep in her room at night (since she's prone to kicking off the blankets and we don't want the room to fall below 72° or so if she's sans coverage). The first day she saw it she asked (of course) what it was, and we told her that it was a heater and that sometimes it gets hot so she shouldn't touch. So for a while now when she sees the heater she says "heater," then shakes her head and says "no touch!"

In preparation for moving to a toddler bed (we're targeting the week or so after Thanksgiving), we started leaving the heater in her room all the time. We need her to learn how to be around the heater without supervision since she's going to be able to climb in and out of bed (the heater turns off automatically when tipped over, for any of you who are too worried). For the first few days everything was fine, but starting this weekend Fiona became afraid to go into her room without one of her parents. It didn't affect her sleep or naps, but she doesn't want to play in her room right now because of the heater.

Several times I brought her into the room to show her the heater, to show her that we could go close to the heater without touching it. We said hello to the heater and waved at it. And eventually Fiona would feel comfortable in the room again and play happily. But the next time she found herself playing in the living room and walked back to her bedroom she'd stop at the door and say "oh, heater."

This morning I went ahead and removed the heater from the room when she woke up; hopefully it's something we can work through and try again soon.

Milk

Each time Fiona has had a cold she's lost interest in dairy. And each time she got healthy she'd go right back to chugging her milk down first thing in the morning and right before dinner.

Not any more.

Yes, we're currently in a milk-rejection phase. We've tried leaving it our all morning for her to try, we've tried putting honey or chocolate syrup in the milk, we've tried putting the milk in a different cup--to no avail.

So we're having to find other methods of making sure she gets enough dairy. Since we also have trouble getting her to sit still in the morning to eat her breakfast (after all, she's just been in bed for 11-12 hours and is ready to run around and play), this leads to the comical sight of us spending many a morning walking around after Fiona with a bowl of yogurt feeding her spoonfuls every time she looks up.

She doesn't resist the yogurt, and we can get her to sit still for lunch and dinner, so I don't think we're forming any bad habits quite yet, but I'm hoping the phase ends sooner rather than later, since I'm not enjoying the "toddler has yogurt on her face and wants to hug my leg but this is my last clean pair of pants and I have to leave for work in 10 minutes" dodge and dart. On the other hand, one of the first things parenthood has taught us is that sometimes you just have to live with going out in public with schmutz on your clothes.

Baby Envy

Fiona was the youngest child at her day care for her about 10-11 months after she started. Since the middle of summer, two new babies have joined, while Fiona has aged into the toddler bracket.

Apparently she's noticed that babies get more attention.

According to Rita, Fiona has asked to play in the baby bouncer after seeing one of the babies use it. She's asked for pacifiers when she sees the babies with theirs (this despite the fact that she hasn't used a pacifier at home since before she even started day care, and the fact that she's never expressed interest in pacifiers when she sees any of the older children who still use them sucking on binkies at day care). When she's seen the babies eating mush out of a jar she's asked for a bite. The other day she apparently asked for a bottle; she hasn't used a baby bottle since she turned one.

It doesn't seem to be a real problem--Rita is mostly amused by Fiona's behavior, and 99% of the time Fiona is quite happy to take advantage of all the skills she's acquired since moving beyond the 7-month-old bracket. And one of the reasons we love Rita so much is that she and the other grownups are amazing at giving attention to all the children, so it doesn't seem like Fiona is actually starved to be noticed. But it looks like as we head towards her second birthday our daughter is already realizing that getting older can be a double edged sword.

Her Name

For months we've been trying to get Fiona to say her name. It wound up becoming a game. We'd ask her if she could say "Mommy" or "Daddy" or "Aunt Kathy" and she'd repeat each name. Then we'd ask if she could say "Fiona" and she'd smile and say "no." Or, if confronted with a photo she recognized, she'd point to her image and say "you!"

Recently while playing the Birthday Game, Fiona started singing her name with us during Happy Birthday. But she still wouldn't say it.

Well, she still won't say it if you ask her what her name is, or if she can say "Fiona." But when she recognizes herself in a photo she now says "it's Fiona!" Or, more accurately, "it's oh-na!"

Photos of Fiona from before her first birthday (more or less) are identified as "baby," since she doesn't seem to grasp that she was a baby very recently.

Happy Halloween

Well, Fiona had her first trick or treating experience yesterday. As you can see from the photo above (and to nobody's surprise), she dressed up as Winnie-the-Pooh. At first she was a little bothered because she couldn't reach her belly button, but when her mom asked if she'd rather take the costume off, Fiona suddenly stopped complaining.

We all left work early to join Fiona for the Halloween party at day care starting at 5pm. The kids trick or treated up and down the block where her day care is located. Fiona was a little overwhelmed by the mob scene and the darkness (daylights savings just started, so she's not used yet to finishing the day at day care and heading out into the dark). We asked her if she wanted to walk, but she just wanted to be held, so we traded off carrying her up to each house so she could get candy. Eventually she walked for about 20 feet under a streetlight, but mainly she wanted the comfort of Mommy and Daddy.

After they finished trick or treating, the kids headed back to Rita's (the day care provider) for food, and we got to try some of the food that Fiona fires back all week before she comes home on the weekend to turn her nose up at our cooking! At that point, Aunt Kathy joined us, since she was on orders from her boss to make sure she saw Fiona in person dressed up for Halloween. Allegedly Kathy works at a real company that does real business, but since the only stories I ever hear about her job involve her being told to head home to see her niece I have my doubts.

We stayed at the party until about 6:30 and then took Fiona home before she passed out from exhaustion at all the excitement. At home, she enjoyed emptying her candy bag and then refilling it (and we enjoyed a last Halloween before she figures out how to unwrap her candy). When the time came to take off the Pooh costume, Fiona got very upset (which wasn't made any easier by the hard time we had figuring out exactly how to get it off). This morning, the first question she asked me was about whether she could wear the Pooh Bear outfit; I expect that will be a running motif over the next few days.