Suspicious Behavior

At a 2-year old level:

As I was getting dressed the other morning, I could hear Mommy in the living room telling Fiona that she couldn't play with Play-Doh right now. About 15 seconds later, Fiona came running down the hall to see me, and with a big grin asked: "Daddy, I want to play with Play-Doh?"

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At a 6-year old level:

A few evenings ago I was cooking dinner while Fiona played in the living room (we were the only two home). Fiona came running back to the kitchen and announced "I close the door for you, Daddy."

Now, this may have seemed helpful, except for one thing: we don't close the door to the kitchen when we're cooking. Fiona, however, was very insistent -- I needed to cook, and in order to cook, I needed to have the door closed.

My curiosity piqued, I opened the door to look down the hall. Fiona came running back down the hall right away.

"No, Daddy, you stay in there. You cook. Keep the door closed."

Now, this was definitely unusual. So I waited again for Fiona to get all the way down the hall and then opened the door and walked into the living room...

...just in time to find that Fiona had opened a box of overpriced flushable wipes and was in the process of using several at the same time to help her baby doll clean up after using the potty.
Fiona was not pleased that I had outsmarted her efforts to surreptitiously raid the wipe collection.

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And one I'm sure to hear when she's a teenager:

A different evening, and dinner was ready, so Andrea and I were both in the kitchen assembling plates, pouring drinks, etc. As I came into the living room with the food (it's a NY apartment, we eat in the living room), I discovered that Fiona had found the TV remote and was busily watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

"What are you doing, Fiona?" I asked.

Fiona quickly found the power button.

"I was just turning off the TV," she replied.

I guess kids are hard-wired for that excuse.